Waking Up Magic
by Teresa Kaiju
Summary: Shoujo ai. Sakura grows up some while she is in Hong Kong and the change turns her life upside down.


Waking Up Magic 

Shoaoran had been unusually quiet, even for him. I don't think he said two words except to order dinner at the restaurant. Then afterwards he took me to a little park where we sat on swings, just like we used to when we were kids. Something was bothering him. And I didn't need magic to tell it was me. We had seemed to have a storybook romance. We had been a couple since fifth grade. For four years I've been assuming that we would be married someday.

Then this year Shoaoran's mother said that if I would come to Hong Kong, she would give me some magic training. I was thrilled to accept.

It was really neat! Shoaoran and I spent a half a day six days a week in magic training together with Shoaoran's mother. And the other half day, Shoaoran, Meilin and I would go to the beach, or an amusement park or shopping or whatever we wanted to do.  
Then, it was about a week before we were to come back to Japan that he finally got up enough nerve to kiss me. Which is something I had been looking forward to for a long time. And I expected my first kiss to be wonderful Or at least kind of exciting. But it wasn't. It was... kind of a nothing. No feeling at all. And I was really disappointed. I guess I showed it because he asked me what was wrong. And I told him. As soon as I said it I realized I had hurt him. But what was I to do; lie to him? That wouldn't be right.

He wasn't angry or anything he just said that he had never kissed a girl before and he didn't really know how to do it. So he got some advice from someone and tried some more, but I still felt nothing. I told him it wasn't his fault; it was something wrong with me, but that didn't help at all.

---

Anyway, so there we were in the park, sitting on the swings and he starts talking. "I went over to Meilin's this morning." Well that explained why he wasn't at magic training.

"So, did you two have a good time?" I smiled. He shook his head sadly before he spoke.

"It doesn't even occur to you to be jealous, does it. Anyway, I needed to kiss her." I can't say I wasn't surprised, but it did sort off make sense.

"And, did she get a thrill?", I quietly asked.

"She says she did. And she sure acted like she did."

"I suppose she did then. I told you there wasn't anything wrong with your kissing. It's me."

"Meilin had a idea. She said you may be the kind of girl who likes other girls and not guys. Do you think that could be true? Are you like that?" I looked away from him and took a deep breath. Now I had to tell him what had been happening with me.

"I have been wondering about that myself." I stopped and took another deep breath. This was hard. But was it harder than the magic exercises I had had with Shoaoran's mother? Probably not. They had been really hard. So I decided to just go ahead and tell him what I knew. "I know that I don't get a thrill out of looking at cute guys like my friends do. And the past couple of weeks, I have noticed that I seem to be getting a tingle when I look at cute girls. So maybe I am one of them." I finished sadly.

"It makes sense. And it explains why you always seem to want Tomoyo or Meilin to come with us on dates. Normal girls want to be alone with their guy." He took a deep breath before he continued. "But that's okay. There is nothing wrong with you liking girls. It just means that you are destined for someone else, not me." I just nodded my head. I knew he was right. But it still hurt. "I still want to be your friend, okay?" That was good, I told myself. But it still took a while before I could speak. The words seemed to be stuck in my throat.

"Okay, sure, we'll still be friends." Then a good thought came into my mind. "I'm glad that when you wanted to try kissing another girl, you picked Meilin. I really like her. And I think she still loves you. Try dating her, will you?"

"I plan to. And I'm really glad you didn't cry. I don't know what I would have done if you had started crying."

"Well, let's get back before I do start, okay?" I said it like I was joking, but actually I wasn't. I couldn't hide from it anymore. The future that I had dreamed of would never happen. And it was my own fault. I was defective.

That night Kero kept after me, wanting to know what my problem was. So I finally told him. And he didn't seem to think it was a big deal. "So what if you like girls. Clow liked guys and he was the best ever."

"He liked guys!"

"Of course he did! Why do you he made Yue look like he does? Yue was his lover!

This revelation did make sense, when I thought about it. And it did make me feel a bit better. After all, being like Clow couldn't be a terrible thing. But I still couldn't help crying some after I got in bed.

The next day after magic training I went over and saw Meilin. She met me at the door looking worried. "Are you mad at me, Sakura?"

"No, I'm not mad. You didn't do anything. In fact I'm glad that Shoaoran kissed you and not some other girl. I just wanted to wish you luck with him. I like both of you a lot and I would be happy to see you two as a couple."

"Thank you! I like you a lot too. And I can use all the luck I can get. So, what are you going to do now?"

"Go home and think about things I guess. I don't really know."

"I think you should try kissing Tomoyo and see what happens.", she said with a smile. I payed no attention at the time since I thought she was joking.

---

I did okay until I was seated on the plane next to an empty seat; Shoaoran's seat. It seemed like a sign of the empty life I had waiting for me in Japan. I cried a little more until I thought about Tomoyo. I had really missed her while I was in Hong Kong, even though we talked on the phone nearly ever day. And now we would be able to spend as much time together as we wanted to. She had nearly always refused to go out with me and Shoaoran. She insisted that she didn't want to come between me and my guy.

I smiled, thinking about seeing her when I got back. Then I remembered that she was traveling with her mother this week and wouldn't be back until the night before school started. But I could wait. And I had plenty to do in the next two days. All my summer break homework.

---

As I woke up to my alarm clock, my first thought was that summer break was over and I had to get up and go back to school, and this made me cover my head with the blanket. But my next thought was that I was going to see Tomoyo, and that got me up.

---

As I walked across the front of the classroom to get to my row, Tomoyo looked up at me and her face lit up in a big smile. And I felt a flutter in my stomach. It was SO strange. This was my friend Tomoyo, whom I've known practically forever, and suddenly I was seeing her like she was a whole new person. Not the little girl who followed me around with a video camera, but a teen aged beauty. And what Meilin had said about kissing her came back to me and I felt my face get really hot.

I felt embarrassed. Uncomfortable with my own best friend? This was stupid, I told myself as I smiled and tried to act normal. But inside I was still messed up. It will pass, I thought to myself. Once I spend some time with her, maybe things will go back the way they were between us. Or maybe it will just get worse. As I really looked at Tomoyo it was obvious to me that she was far cuter than any of the girls I had gotten a thrill out of looking at in Hong Kong. I found myself looking at her mouth and wondering what her lips would feel like and then my face got hot again.

Just before class started, she asked the question I had been dreading. "Where is Shoaoran?"

"He stayed in Hong Kong.", I answered.

"So when is he coming then?", she wanted to know.

"He's not. We've broken up.", I said quietly. She looked as shocked as I expected. She had been pushing us together for a long time so I expected her to be upset. And it was all my fault. I had disappointed her.

As I expected, she wanted to know what happened as soon as home room was over. But when I told her that I didn't want to talk about it, she nodded like she understood. But at lunch she was unusually quiet, so I figured that it was still bothering her.

After school she was waiting for me at the school gate as usual. But when she turned and smiled at me, she looked SO beautiful I felt the flutter inside again and my mouth wouldn't work. I had to look away before I could even say hi.

"I'd love to have you over for dinner tonight," she started, "but I suppose you want to spend some time with your dad after being away for so long."

"That's okay. Dad is away on a dig so there isn't anyone at my house at all. And I really missed you and want to spend some time with you!" This was very true. But not only did I want to spend some time with my old friend I also wanted to spend time with this very beautiful girl who made my heart race when she took my hand.

As we rode to her house in the back of her car I told her some funny stories about my summer and made her laugh. Finally is seemed like things were returning to normal between us.

The evening continued like this. I was both attracted to her and scared of her at the same time. What would she think of me if she knew I was longing to kiss her. Then I remembered the talk she and I had had late one night the year before. She had told me a lot about sex and the different ways it can be done. Now I realized that some of them did not require a guy. Two girls could... This thought made my face really hot. And it kept coming back to me...

When it was time for me to go home I had mixed feelings again. At least, I thought, I could get some rest if I didn't keep looking at her. But as we were riding over to my house, Tomoyo had an idea. "Why don't you pack a bag with the clothes you will need for a couple of days and come back to my house? Wouldn't that be better than staying in your house all alone?"

I knew it was a bad idea but it was just too tempting to resist. I really wanted to be close to her! So in a little while we were back over at Tomoyo's getting ready for our bath. Together of course as we always had.

I remember commenting that her breasts were twice the size of my little ones before I left. But I hadn't realized till now just how beautiful her body really was. I couldn't look away even though there were strange feelings all through me. It was both a relief and a disappointment when she got into the hot tub to soak. Then when it was time to get out, I was very careful to not look at her at all so I wouldn't get trapped again.

I was trying not to look at her as she changed into her nightgown but she asked me something and I glanced at her without thinking when I answered. And I was caught. I didn't finish changing into my pajamas until she had a nightgown on and was in bed.

Even though we had talked late into the night, I still couldn't get to sleep. She was right there, within easy reach, and I wanted so much to touch her. But I knew I shouldn't. It was sure to ruin our friendship, and I couldn't stand for that to happen. So after laying there in torment for a couple of hours I got up and just sat on the edge of the bed. There was no place I could go to get away from her. I couldn't sleep with her anymore. Or take baths with her... Or look at her... No. That was impossible. I was getting crazy from all the strange thoughts in my head. Then I heard Tomoyo's voice. "What's the matter, Sakura?"

"I'm sorry I woke you.", I replied, "There is nothing wrong." But there was. And I needed to tell her. She was my closest friend in the world and I owed it to her to tell her what had happened to me. "No, actually there is something wrong..." Then it dawned on me that it was the middle of the night and not a good time for having a discussion. "I'll... I'll tell you about it in the morning."

"Please tell me now, Sakura. I can't sleep worrying about you anyway. Breaking up with Shoaoran had to be very difficult for you. It might help if you talk about it with me. Then maybe we both can get some sleep? Please?"

"Okay. I guess you're right. But actually breaking up with Shoaoran isn't the main problem right now."

"Oh?" she said in a surprised voice.

"Something happened while I was in Hong Kong. I've changed." I had to stop for a moment and take a deep breath. "I am becoming... No, I guess I am... One of those girls who likes other girls." I heard Tomoyo's sudden intake of breath and knew that I had shocked her. Well, it was shocking. I was a freak. Or, remembering Clow, and my brother, at least not normal. Of course I was also a person who had a lot of magic power, and that certainly wasn't normal either.

"Sakura-", Tomoyo started.

"No. Please. Let me finish. I haven't told you the worse part yet. As weird as it may seem to you, I am attracted to cute girls, in general... And... And...", it was SO hard to say! "I am attracted to you. A lot. I mean, I broke up with Shoaoran because I don't... like... guys but right now what is bothering me is trying to sleep in the same bed as you. It drives me crazy being so close to you and not being able to..." I couldn't tell her what I wanted to do. No way.

"Sakura? Can I speak now?"

"Okay. I guess I'm done. Please don't hate me. I can't help being this way."

"I know. I know very well indeed." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I've been one of those girls who likes other girls for a long time." Now it was my turn to be shocked. I turned and looked at her but all I could see in the moonlight was a faint outline. "And for all of that time, I have been attracted to you, Sakura." Suddenly it made a lot of sense. While I was capturing the cards she was trying to capture me; on tape. "I'm attracted some to some other girls sometimes, but a LOT to you. All the time." I had been SO wrapped up in the cards and magic and... Well wrapped up in myself, and my problems. I hadn't really ever thought about what was happening with my best friend. "You have been very special to me since we first met, but in the last year my attraction to you has become almost painfully strong. I expect it's part of maturing." And I had just told myself that it was Tomoyo being her usual strange self. "And I was afraid to say anything for fear that you wouldn't be my friend anymore." I felt like kicking myself. "You seemed so straight and normal with Shoaoran I couldn't imagine you as being like me. My fondest dream is what just happened. You telling me that you like girls and are attracted to me. And I'm still having trouble convincing myself that it did really happen. But no matter if I am dreaming or not, I want to enjoy this moment as much as I can." As she crawled over to me, thoughts raced through my head.

She wanted me... After all my agonizing over being attracted to girls it just seemed too good to be true. That I was attracted to my best friend whom I loved, and she was attracted to me. Then I remembered what the image of myself had told me when I was dreaming at the tower. Everything will certainly be alright. And now it looked like it would be.

Then as she sat on the edge of the bed and slid closer to me, I looked at her and realized something. She had suffered for months what I couldn't stand for one day. It must have been terribly hard for her. Trying to help me to be happy with Shoaoran while all the time she wanted me for herself. And now I needed to make it up to her. I needed to make up a LOT to her. I felt my resolve harden inside of myself. Right down in my core. I would use all the power I had to make Tomoyo happy. To try to make up for all the pain she had suffered. So I called up all the things Shoaoran and I had tried to make his kisses better and I used them on Tomoyo.

At first I was so wrapped up in trying to make the kiss good for her that I didn't really feel it myself. But after a little while it hit me. All the way to my toes. I tingled all over. The thrill of kissing my beautiful Tomoyo was heavenly. This was my REAL first kiss. And it wasn't disappointing at all.

Tomoyo was running her hands all over me. She wanted to touch me just like I wanted to touch her. With a sudden powerful thought I called on the move card to move Tomoyo's nightgown and my pajamas across the room. As soon as Move was back in card form I called on Float to pick us up and lay us in the middle of Tomoyo's big bed. As we rose up off the edge of the bed Tomoyo must have finally realized that strange things were happening. As she stiffened and pulled away from our kiss, I spoke. "Don't be afraid. It's me, using my magic for you." She relaxed immediately and went back to kissing me as we floated down face to face with me on top. I thanked Float for a job well done and sent him back to card form.

---  
---

Then Tomoyo was dragging me out of bed and trying to tell me something. "School?" I stupidly replied. Finally it penetrated. "School! Hoeeeee!" As I sat up on the edge of the bed, I wished I had asked Shoaoran's mother to teach me some magic for getting up in the morning. But then Tomoyo kissed me and I felt a lot better. Yes! I smiled to myself, That will do as waking up magic.


End file.
